Post office problems

This is what I get for moving to a slow moving state.....slow moving mail. We had noticed that we were not getting any mail at the new house, despite having many new accounts and such opened with that address. So, I scurried down to the Collegeville post office to find out what was going on. I don't really know WHAT I expected. You see, the post office is a mystery. They have their own rules that no one can figure out and they really don't want you to. Nobody can complain because if you complain about your mailman etc, then you don't get your mail. All of a sudden your People Magazines disappear, and your bills come weeks late. So, if you have a problem with your mailman or post office, you just have to suck it up.

So, I went into the post office and asked where our mail was. They explained to me that since the mailman didn't know our name, he wasn't about to deliver our mail, despite the fact that it had a valid Collegeville post office. You see, in this little community, apparently the mailman recognizes the name first, address second. I asked what happened to all the mail already sent to the house, ie......homeowners insurance stuff, Temple Law school stuff, Madison's school registration stuff.......the answer was "we sent it back". Now, I understand that maybe in the old days the mailman would look at the mail and say....."this is a name I don't recognize for this house", but in this day and age the mailman just delivers the mail to the address on the label. Plus, you would THINK that the mailman would notice that there was a For Sale sign on the lawn, then a Sold sign, then the sign was magically gone. The powers of deduction would have one figure that PERHAPS there are new occupants in that house. But, not our mailman. He was strictly by the book.

So, I asked the friendly post office employee (he really wasn't friendly, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying) what my options were. He explained that I would have to put in a change of address card and once the mailman saw that he would deliver the mail. Then he threw in alot of nonsense about having to getting an 80% volume of mail before he would even deliver it.....but I didn't understand that and I don't think he really did either.

I told him that we couldn't put a change of address card in because we had already done that and the mail was going to my parents. He said we could put another one in for my parents address but admitted it would likely confuse the Norristown mailman. Sooooooo, our only other option would be to put a hold on our mail until we were able to have a change of address sorted out in LA. The mailman WOULD NOT deliver our mail without seeing that card! Let me tell you that it took all my patience not to reach over that counter and strangle that man and his boss. I told him that this was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of and they told me that this is how the post office is SUPPOSED to do things. They don't know how they are doing in things in a "big city" like Los Angeles, but they follow the letter of the law in Collegeville.....population 8,oo9! So, I put a hold on my mail and crawled out.......

That afternoon we surveyed other local post offices and the consensus was that, the Collegeville post office was out of their minds.

A couple of days later I went to collect my mail at the post office and the guy says...."by the way, the mailman won't deliver your mail in the mailbox you have now.......you need to replace it with a standup mailbox at the end of your driveway". You see, the mailbox we have now is on the wall outside the front door. It looks like its been there for 800 years, and it has the name of the previous owners on it......The Pancoasts. There are about 10 houses on our street, 7 of them have mailboxes at the end of the driveway and the other three (including ours) has them on the house. So, the mailman drives up and down the street delivering the mail, if its at the end of the driveway he doesn't have to get his behind out the of the car. (NOTE: I would have liked to used a stronger word there, but I know that kids sometimes read this!) But, when he gets to our house and our 2 other neighbors houses, he......gasp!......has to get out of the car and walk to the house. So, apparently this is way too much exercise for him.....so he won't deliver the mail until we put one at the end of the driveway. Now, of course this isn't what they told me.....they gave me some crap story about how the regulations have changed....bla, bla, bla......but I told him that there were other houses on that street that didn't have mailboxes at the end of the driveway......and he didn't believe me. In fact, not only did he not believe me........he said that I must be mistaken or seeing things.

Now, all the employees at the Collegeville Post Office know me. I'm sure there is a picture of me on the wall in the back.....and I'm sure my US magazine will never show up anymore. I'll be doomed to reading the Norristown Times Herald for all my news.....and let me tell you.....it doesn't get worse than that!